It’s our first trip to my parents’ beach condo without my dad.

As my readers know, my beloved father is battling dementia and Parkinson’s. The constant vigil of being a caregiver to a fading loved one is a labor of love, but it is also draining. We all needed a break.

So, for my daughter’s twenty-fifth birthday, we decided to step away from worry and frustration and go on a mini vacation. We shared our plan with my dad’s long-term care facility, so we knew he was in good hands.

The last time we all went as a family was in November of 2024, and before that, a planned outing was derailed when my dad ended up in the hospital for eleven days after passing out on July 19th, 2024.

Life seems so fragile and uncertain these days, and my marriage is no exception.

My husband still hasn’t taken my dad’s words to heart about what he said in his letter to me
about what should be first, God and family. He took ten days off work for himself in July
without communicating that to anyone in our family; therefore, he could not make the entire birthday trip, he said. He came down after work on Friday and had to leave Sunday so he could be present for work on Monday. So, he was there one full day at the beach. I have had the same old conversation with him year after year about his lack of communication.

This is a common theme with my brother as well. I have
been struggling mentally, spiritually, and emotionally with both of them for the last three years.

I continue to whisper to myself, Whatever your plan is Lord, lead me. For I am never alone. 

The halfway point to the beach is McLeod Peach Farm. Upon arrival, my mom pulled under a tree in the shade; the exact spot that she and my dad would stop to “get out and stretch our legs.”  She asked us to just sit there with her as she cried, wanting him there as well.

This “spot” holds many memories for my family, and not all are pleasant. It’s the spot where, many years ago, I remember stopping on
the way home from the beach after learning my husband had been unfaithful. I sobbed all the way home and still couldn’t see when I was at the farm, beyond heartbreaking, and in disbelief.

But it’s also a place; even as a child, I have memories of sitting with my grandmother and feeling the joy of her presence. This time around, I was able to forget the pain and embrace the joy, thankfully. 

Like the song says, “The times, they are a’changin” and none of us know what the rest of this year will bring. 

But what I do know for sure is that my family is, and will always be, my Circle of Strength.

And for that, I am grateful.