We don’t get to pick the traumatic events in our lives, but we do get to choose how we let them write our story.
In my debut release, Loved Just As I Am, I recount how my idyllic life in the Deep South was changed forever when I was sexually assaulted at age eleven.
In Loved Just As I Am, I purposefully and painfully examine my past traumas and share my realization of how I used denial or avoidance as a means of emotional protection until I was well into my thirties. I’ve always known there was a place to share the story of my triumphs and sorrows; I just needed to find the right time and assistance. Writing a book and laying bare my feelings and actions, good and bad, was not easy, but so worth it. Along with the raw journey of not only processing my childhood wounds, I was able to share my struggles as a young woman dealing with a violent ex-boyfriend, racism within my family and community, motherhood, addiction, and infidelity to those who may find comfort and familiarity in my words.
It was my deep faith, love of family, and firm belief that we are all enough that helped me wade through my “crapola.” The result is a life guided by wisdom, freedom, and healing.
As a therapist in the mental health field, I have worked with clients of all ages who are struggling with everything from addiction to sexual abuse. Using my steadfast belief in God and the ability to evaluate and celebrate the paradoxes of life experiences, good and bad, it is within the pages of Loved Just As I Am to help others heal rather than remain in the vicious cycle of shame and doubt.
But believe me, laying bare my feelings and actions, both good and bad, was no small undertaking, and I wasn’t prepared for old feelings to raise their ugly heads once again. But, as an M.Ed., LCMHC, and NCC, I always encourage those around me who are in emotional pain to seek help from a professional therapist. And that advice is one that I applied to myself as well. I sought help when the old traumas threatened to swallow me whole and undermine what I was trying to achieve with the writing of this book.
I am so glad that I did. Asking for help allowed light to enter my life again, driving the darkness away.
We must choose to see the light and have hope, even when it is as small as a mustard seed. When people are in deep emotional pain, they will do anything to stop that pain, even when the choices add even more layers of shame. Unresolved traumas allow our emotions to rule our lives. These unconfronted traumas keep us all confined to a smaller version of ourselves. Only when we get tired of hurting ourselves and others and begin proactively finding the root of our distress does the darkness recede.
I encourage those reading this article to refuse to live in despair. Instead, seek love, understanding, and forgiveness.”
Loved Just As I Am, shares my thirty-year journey of learning from my pain and shame, letting go of judgment and control, and never losing sight of the knowledge that God loves me unconditionally.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Melissa McDaniel is a National Certified Counselor, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, life coach, and speaker who has spent nearly two decades helping people transform their lives. She began her career as a therapist for victims of sexual assault before transitioning to working with individuals who have committed sexual crimes to transform their behavior. Grief, anxiety, and depression are consistent issues she deals with in her private practice.
Loved Just As I Am is available on Amazon, Kindle, and the author’s website.
