Not only did my brother and I believe in Santa, but we also got to celebrate Jesus’s birthday with family, friends, our community, and gifts.

One of my favorite Christmas gifts from Santa was a stove and kitchen set I received around the age of three. I don’t know if I loved it so much because of how fun it was to play with or because I spent hours figuring out how the big guy in the red suit could have gotten the stove and the sink down the chimney.

I would ask my mom questions like, well what if families don’t have chimneys, she would always have a reply, he probably uses the door.

Some of our presents from Santa were not wrapped, like the stove. For the ones that were, I wondered why Santa’s handwriting on our gifts was much like my mom’s. I’m sure I wasn’t the only child who wondered why Santa used the same wrapping paper as my mom and dad!

I remember going Christmas shopping with my mom and my brother as we got a little older, and she would tell us to get in the car while she put things in the trunk because we might have gifts from her and my dad. We received gifts from Santa and then gifts from my parents. Sneaky Little Me would get in the back seat, turn around on my knees, and peer into the crack as she held the trunk wide open. I would see things like an Ataria game for my brother and a WWF wrestling ring, barely making out what the other toys seemed to be.

Wait, is that a Care Bear?

I remember wracking my brain to remember precisely what toys I had put on my Christmas Wish List to match them up with what I was peering through the crack. 

There was excitement in believing.

My brother reminded me not too long ago when we kids spotted a musical keyboard in Mom and Dad’s closet. Then, miraculously, on Christmas Eve, somehow Santa knew to retrieve it from their closet and add it to our “from Santa” gifts.

I remember being somewhat frightened, believing someone in a red suit was entering our home while we were all asleep.
My brother is the one who told me there was no Santa because someone at school had told him the real deal. In turn, he came home and told me Santa wasn’t real. We both confronted Mom. I think it was the devastation already on our faces when we asked peering up at her to confirm what the pieces of this puzzle were alluding to, she admitted it was her and dad all along.

I did not want to believe it.

Would this take Joy out of Christmas?

Even when I thought there was a Santa, my favorite Christmas memory is our church pairing two families up to give a family in need everything on their Christmas list. Our families got to drop them off to the chosen family. We had two carloads of gifts. As a child watching an entire family, I was so excited and disbelieving about all the gifts they were given. It was everything they had asked for and more they would have on Christmas day. There is so much joy in giving.

For forty-two years, I spent every Christmas Eve at my maternal grandparents with the whole family. Excellent food, family games, and lots of presents. Sadly, that ended in 2020 after my maternal grandmother’s death. Since then, our families have grown so large, and each family now chooses their own traditions. But we all make sure we incorporate things from grandma, like her green punch or shrimp cocktail, while adding new ways to celebrate Christ through love.

My parents, aunts, and uncles had many more years with that tradition, so grieving the loved ones gone ahead of us was understood.

Experiencing Christmas as an adult, mother, and female has been exhausting. As a very young mother, there were times when it was painful that I did not have the money to give gifts to the people I love or the gifts I would like them to receive. Years later, when we had money for presents, our family was involved in multiple group activities like dance, cheer, church, work parties, band concerts, chorus, plays, and parades. This made the holiday season’s schedule stretch thin, and those times were entirely stressful for me.

I understand some individuals love and look forward to the b busyness of life, but I wasn’t one of them. The “reason for the season” was lost in an avalanche of cooking, planning, chauffeuring, and shopping, and all I could think of was, when would this be over?!

I craved rest and to be free of the dread that I was constantly running out of time to finish everything. Balancing work, social activities, family needs and obligations, what to wear, what gifts still needed to be wrapped, and where we needed to be on any given day was running me ragged. 

Then there’s the pinch on the pocketbook. The ten-dollar gift limits were meant to make gift-buying for family and friends easier, but it made a gift choice even more difficult for me. ::sigh::

I’m sharing this to let you know that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed by holiday pressure.  As the years passed, I became better at mentally preparing for the rush of the Christmas season. Ultimately, I always made it through and enjoyed my time at each event.

I am now grateful for those memories.

When our daughter got older, we only saw her for short periods on college breaks. Instead of exchanging gifts, we decided to do a family trip to make memories.

I have also learned to step back from over-committing myself and feeling like I must do all the societal expectations. For example, we have no Christmas tree this year, and I am 100 percent okay with it. I am thankful my neighbors appear to have beautiful Christmas trees and lighted homes, and I get lit up viewing their decorations while driving home.

I am also fortunate to live near Christmas Town, USA, where the entire town is lit up with the choice to walk or drive through to see the amazing lights.

This Christmas, I stopped living as if I were running out of time and chose to run towards the fullness of time.

My mother is turning 70 this December, and I look forward to celebrating her. My father is still battling Parkinsons. What a Champion he is. I also look forward to seeing my grandchild experience his first Christmas.

I believe in Jesus, who gives me the same excitement as Santa. He lights me up on dark nights and shows us how beautiful He is.

Many times throughout life, I have thought, wow, how did He do that? when the joy of the season presents itself in so many ways.

When God spoke In the Beginning, the epic story ends with the grace of Jesus with God’s people. Jesus, who came, is coming again to restore humanity fully. Every wrong will be made right. Water would be enough for me this Christmas.

Revelation 22;17 The spirit and the bride say, Come! Let the one who hears say, Come! Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.”

Happy Holidays, everyone!